yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
