i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
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My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
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Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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