My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
