omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i think im in europe. pls send help
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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