At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
