i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
