i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
