If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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