i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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