my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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