What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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