I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
