Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Dicks are not precious.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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