saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
