i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
