after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
