There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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