Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Boobs are out for the taking
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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