gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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