I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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