Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My legs feel like baby dolphins
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
