angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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