It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
