Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
