Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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