he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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