guys are not supposed to queef...right?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
