I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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