my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
