i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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