I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
