so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
