Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
NoShamevember. You game?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
