Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
