I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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