that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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