...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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