i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
