You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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