I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
