i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
