When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Someone signed my nipple.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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