it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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