if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
