She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
