Can i not drive my cunt home
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
