I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
