i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
