Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
