I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
