Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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