I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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