Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
