Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i would punch a child for taco bell
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
