i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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