did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
