Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
