it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
