Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
