whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
