maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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