Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize