Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
North Korea, Best Korea!
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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