One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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